“Mindfulness, when taught, is usually framed as tools for clients, rather than as ways that counsellors in training can embody presence and support our own regulation. I’ve undergone much of my training and placement consumed with nerves or insecurity. A few deep breaths to calm my nerves ahead of the first few sessions with a new client was all the mindfulness I thought I needed.” (Alex Legge)
As a counsellor in training Alex recently attended an 8-week mindfulness course very much thinking that she would be picking up skills to pass on to those she was working with, but ended up having a very different experience:
“Despite years of psychotherapy, self-development courses and training in Integrative Counselling, I unconsciously dismissed mindfulness as something that wasn’t necessary or important.”
The course coincided with a period of personal and professional instability, when stress had started to feel like a natural state for Alex, and instead of her focus being on expanding her skills for client work, she found herself confronted with how much she needed the practices for herself.
Initially Alex encountered strong resistance, self-criticism and fear. However, with time and consistency, she came to see that mindfulness was not about achieving an instant sense of ‘peace’, or a preoccupation with ‘doing it right’, but instead it was about meeting her internal experiences with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgement and criticism.
The impact of starting to practise mindfulness has been profound. It has helped her to reframe how she relates to herself, her body and her everyday experiences. By learning to notice her thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, habitual reactivity is easing. She is experiencing a growing sense of safety within her body, which in turn is increasing her capacity to be present day to day, rather than oscillating between past worries or future imaginings.
Somewhat touchingly, these significant personal changes are, of course, rippling out into how she both perceives and works in her role as a counsellor in training. Rather than falling down holes of imposter syndrome, or being caught in stories of comparison, mindfulness is helping her to accept herself more fully, which in turn enhances her confidence and capacity to be present and effective:
“I feel increasingly able to genuinely ground myself, rather than performing the role of someone who is grounded, by embedding simple mindfulness practices before, after and in between sessions that support my regulation and presence.”
Elements of Alex’s mindfulness now infuse the way she approaches her counselling placement. Simple micro practices of noticing her breath as she drives there, turning her attention towards her bodily sensations on the walk to the building, slowing her pace with which she sets up the room, and generally being aware of the atmosphere she is creating in the space before the client arrives.
“This mindful preparation helps me shift from performing the role of a congruent counsellor to being genuinely present as a human in the room, aware that my presence sets the tone before a client even arrives and often has more impact on the session than re-reading any notes or mentally anticipating what the session might entail.”
Bringing her practice into her work seems to be seeding potential for changes in both herself and those she supports. She is noticing that she is less self-critical and more self-compassionate in supervision, and that sessions with clients often feel more spacious and authentic. Going forwards she intends to continue to integrate mindfulness into her emerging practice, not necessarily as something that she explicitly delivers to clients as tools or techniques, but rather by modelling as a way of being that can shape and support the therapeutic relationship.
“I hope to support others to develop curiosity towards their inner experiences, as well as kinder and more compassionate inner voices, in a world that demands so much of us all.”
Contact details:
alexlcounselling@gmail.com